


Promises

by groofey



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Scared Magnus Bane, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:33:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29502756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groofey/pseuds/groofey
Summary: The day after Max’s rune party, Magnus had asked Alec to let him know if things ever got so bad, so dark that he felt it would be best to end it all.  Is this request still binding, now that they aren’t together anymore?
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 33
Kudos: 235





	1. A Promise Remembered

Alec couldn't quite believe this was where his life was at right now. How the heck did everything fall apart so quickly?

Max had just been released from the infirmary - he’s going to recover, but may never be the same. The likelihood that he will be the shadowhunter he was expected to be is slim to none. Alec had been the last one with Max before the attack. The guilt had been eating him alive - if he had just stayed......

Alec knew he was never good at expressing his feelings, but, given all the stress he was under and how overwhelmed he felt, he had hoped that at least Jace would notice something through their bond. Anything that would give Alec an opening to talk. That's all he needed, as he was sure everything would just erupt once he got started. But, Jace has been so caught up in his own, personal vendetta against Valentine that he hadn't been paying attention to his own safety, much less anything Alec was going through.

Izzy had always been Alec's other rock. But she was still facing her own struggles in her recovery from her Yin-Fen addiction, which, Alec begrudgingly admitted, is partly his fault too. (So much for being the protective big brother....)

And if all of that wasn't enough, the Shadow World was on the brink of war, with everything riding on Alec’s shoulders as the head of the Institute. His attempt to keep some semblance of calm and peace had led to the implosion of his relationship and to Magnus siding with the Seelie Queen - against him.

Alec couldn't stay within the walls of the Institute any longer. It was late, but if he didn't get out, he was sure the walls would close in completely. He only intended to take a short walk to clear his head, but he just kept walking and walking until he found himself on the Brooklyn Bridge overlooking the water. He was completely alone…except for his thoughts.

_It'd be so easy. No one would even notice until morning, at least. No more disappointing and hurting everyone he cared about. He'd finally be.....free._

Alec shuddered. He tried to get himself back into a decent headspace and pull himself away from the railing. But the allure of the opportunity that presented itself was so strong, so tangible, and right within his reach. He quickly realized he was fighting a battle he may not win.

The one lifeline Alec could grasp onto was the promise he made to Magnus on the balcony the day after Max’s rune party - that he’d tell Magnus if things ever got that bad.

_Does it matter? You aren't together anymore. You lied to him. Why would he even bother to listen at all?_

Alec couldn't see any other way out (other than a permanent one), but he'd be damned if he spent his last moments breaking yet another promise to someone so important to him. With a shaky hand, he pulled out his phone and dialed Magnus's number. 

The call went to voicemail, but Alec decided to leave a message anyway - at least someone would know what happened.

"Magnus......Listen - I know, I’m the last person you want to hear from......but I made you a promise a while ago, and I’m going to keep it.....even if it is the last thing I do."

Alec took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice even. 

"It’s…..there’s so much right now.....Izzy’s fighting for her own life against the Yin-Fen.....Jace is reckless and out for revenge against Valentine.....Max is.....oh god.....Max is never going be the same.....he’ll never be who....who he was supposed to be. I never should have left him.....and then this damn war. I just.....I can’t."

Alec closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. When he opened them again, all he could focus on was the water below

"I promised....I told you I’d let you know if things ever got that bad.....Mangus, I’m not sure I can fight this. I can’t make myself leave.....I can’t get myself to walk away from this bridge.....I’m terrified to do it, but.....facing the world.....all of this......alone.....it’s too much."

"I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I broke.....us. I just.....no matter what, please, know that I really do lo--" The phone beeped, indicating his allotted time to leave a message was over.

Alec looked at the phone in despair, letting it fall to the pavement, shattering.


	2. A Promise Acknowledged

After a long day, Magnus had finally made it home. He was on his second drink of the evening, trying to release the general feelings of tension from his body.

As exhausted as he was, he knew that sleep would only bring thoughts of Alec. Thoughts he wasn't ready to face.

Almost on cue, his phone rang and he saw Alec’s name come up on the screen. With a grimace and a shake of his head, he decided to ignore the call.

Gulping down the last of the whiskey, he walked out to his balcony for some fresh air.

After a few minutes, he started to feel somewhat guilty about ignoring Alec’s call. He knew that things are crazy for his......the shadowhunter right now. And with Valentine out there, they did have a common enemy, even if the ground between them was shaky at the moment.

Grudgingly, he went back in and picked up his phone. Seeing that he had a voicemail, he put it on speaker and let it play:

 _Magnus......Listen - I know, I’m the last person you want to hear from..._ _..but I made you a promise a while ago, and I’m going to keep it.....even if it is the last thing I do._

A sickening feeling began to form in the pit of Magnus’s stomach. He heard Alec take a deep, shuddering breath.

_It’s.....there’s so much right now......Izzy’s fighting her own life against the Yin-Fen. Jace is reckless and out for revenge against Valentine. Max is.....oh god....Max is never going be the same. He’ll never be who...who he was supposed to be. I never should have left him......and then this damn war.....I just.....I can’t._

Alec's voice sounded about ready to crack as he spoke those last words. As the silence lingered for a moment, Magus stared at his phone, eyes wide, listening, waiting as if his own life depended on it.

_I promised.....I told you I’d let you know if things ever got that bad._

As much as Magnus anticipated this based on what he had heard so far, he wasn’t ready for his heart to stop when he fully realized the promise Alec was fulfilling

_Mangus, I......I’m not sure I can fight this. I can’t make myself leave.....I can’t get myself to walk away from this bridge. I’m terrified to do it, but......facing the world....all of this....alone.....it’s too much._

_I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I broke.....us. I just.....no matter what, please, know that I really do lo--._

The message cut off abruptly.

“No! Alec!” Magnus shouted to the empty room.

He clawed at his phone, searching frantically for the redial button, only to have the endless rings on the other end taunt him.

“Damn it!” He threw his phone down on the couch in frustration.

Trying to calm his panicked breathing so he could just THINK, he tried to replay the conversation in his head.

Alec had said something about a bridge.....but which one? Where was he?

Magnus glanced at the clock and realized that Alec had called at least 10 minutes ago.

Cursing again, he ran to his.....their bedroom and grabbed one of the shirts that Alec had left after their fight.

Praying to any entity that would listen, he focused all of his warlock tracking powers into Alec’s shirt.

No sooner did an image come to his mind and he had a portal open and was rushing through.


	3. A Promise Kept

As Magnus came out on the other end of the portal, his eyes immediately darted this way and that, looking for Alec. But there was nothing, no one there.

Magnus probably would have collapsed in despair if his ears hadn’t been so attuned to Alec’s voice. All he heard was a slight whimper, but it was enough to turn him around to see the Shadowhunter sitting on the ground next to a broken phone, head on his knees, shoulders shaking with nearly silent cries.

Magnus’ heart took control of his body as he flung himself down in front of Alec and just embraced him. All the emotions he’d been holding back came full force as he whispered Alec’s name, relishing in the fact that Alec was alive. That he......that THEY had another chance.

Alec startled a bit as he felt arms enclose around him, but he immediately recognized the feel of them, the scent of the clothing, and the voice saying his name. He couldn’t quite bring himself to believe, though, that the warlock was there, that Magnus had come to him, despite everything he had done.

"Magnus?” his voice cracked.

The arms around him tightened and he felt a soft, familiar kiss on his head. 

“Yes, love! I’m here! I’m here - it’s ok.....it’s going to be ok. You’re not alone.....never alone."

Alec brought his hands up to cling to Magnus, sobs wracking his body to the point that he could barely breathe.

"Alexander, angel, I need you to breathe for me.....breathe WITH me." 

He took one of Alec’s hands and put it on his chest, forcing himself to take deep, slow breaths for Alec to copy, which he attempted too, and succeeded at after a few tries.

When Alec actually looked up and met his eyes for the first time, the emptiness and fear in them broke Magnus's heart.

He could see Alec was trying to find words, but Magnus beat him to it.

“Come home with me, Alexander. Ok? Just come home. We can talk and move forward - together.”

Alec nodded and Magnus helped him to his feet. Opening a portal, they soon found themselves back in the Magnus’s loft.

As Alec clung tightly to Magnus, the warlock found himself just as reluctant to create any space between them. He led them to the couch and summoned a blanket before conjuring up some tea for them. They sat together in silence, just holding each other, letting the others presence and touch reassure them.

After a while, Alec’s rough voice broke the silence: “Mangus......thank you. I wasn’t sure if you would come, but I had promised.....”

“I’ll always come, ALWAYS, Alexander. Thank you for calling me. I was so scared......I thought I was too late.”

“I’m here - you saved me”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there before, in the middle of all this. Alec, I’ve been such an idiot. I let my past and my worst fears get the best of me and I didn’t listen to you. I walked away instead of fighting for us, and I forced you into such a hard place. If I had lost you.....If you had ju...." Magnus couldn’t bring himself to finish the word and took a moment to regain his composure. "I never would have forgiven myself."

"I’m sorry too. If I had just told you about the sword right away, so much of this could have been different. I need you. I feel like anything else the world can throw at me is bearable - bring in on - but I need you by my side. I love you, Magnus."

“There’s nowhere else I want to be. I love you too, Alexander! No matter what happens or what else is going on, I will never stop loving you.”

Magnus leaned forward and captured Alec's lips with his own.

“We have so much else to talk about, but I think it will be better after a relaxing bath and a good night’s sleep, hmm? Let me take care of you, Angel. You kept your promise - now I’m going to keep mine.”


End file.
